Sunday, January 31, 2010

why is it so hard to let my ego go?

I made a really fantastic vegan crumb cake today- from Colleen Patrick-Goudreau's "The Joy of Vegan Baking." The recipe quadrupled fantastically, and was moist with a great crumb. I was only laughed at a tiny bit for taking a photo of it with my computer.
Really crappy day so far. In general I think I'm a kind of mean person and have very little tact, so those are things I try ridiculously hard to change. I put so much energy in to trying to be kind, and compassionate, and sensitive of people's feelings and how they need to be communicated with and today I didn't do that. I didn't think before I spoke and forgot how easy it is fore someone to take things as a personal attack on one's character, self worth etc. I feel really shitty about.
I need to figure out how to begin to repair that conflict, but be firm (while being loving ) on why I think those specific things I was thinking....albeit in a less direct more loving way.
off to curl up with "the bean trees" (only 30 pages left to finish) and cuddle a blanket.
please send me some patience.

1 comment:

  1. I can read between the lines when you say "I'm a kind of mean person and have very little tact" and see compassion. Your generosity, open-mindedness, and positive approach shine through.